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Tough Conversations

Sometimes, the most important conversations are the hardest to have. Whether we’re concerned about a child or an adult, knowing how to handle difficult conversations goes a long way toward eventual healing. Here are some tips for bringing things up and keeping the communication open.

  • For small children find a storybook related to the subject. You’d be surprised how many topics have been covered in children’s books! After reading together, ask questions about the story itself. As the child becomes comfortable, bring the conversation to real-life. Has he had things like that happen to him? How did the story make him feel? Asking gentle questions lets children know it’s okay to talk about sad or scary things.
  • For older kids you might use a similar approach after watching a TV show or movie. Or, you can bring up the topic generally with questions that ask for their opinion or advice. For example, “If my friend were depressed, what do you think I could say to help her?” Again, once a comfort level is reached in the conversation, ask gentle questions about the child’s own experiences.
  • Adults may appreciate the same sort of roundabout conversation openers, but this will depend largely on your relationship and their personality. For some, a more direct approach works best, although it’s still important to do so gently. Try something like, “I care about you and have noticed things that worry me. No matter what’s happening, I’m here to help or just listen.“
  • In all cases, listening is even more important than speaking! It’s difficult to find the right words or the courage to discuss tough issues. Your patience and attention, even when words are hard to come by, can give comfort and strength.
  • Assurances of safety, trust, and non-blaming are crucial to keep the discussion going.
  • It may take multiple conversation “sessions” to tackle the most difficult subjects. Be aware of how the talk is going, and try not to push beyond what’s comfortable for the other person, unless of course there’s an immediate danger and the discussion just can’t wait.

Knowing how to handle difficult conversations isn’t easy, but compassion has a way of helping even the deepest hurts to heal. Check out the links below for information about some tough subjects or browse our Resources for more topics.

Mental Health Treatment For Loved Ones

Mother and son having tough conversationsWhile communication and listening are important when it comes to tough conversations, sometimes more help is required than you can give. If your child or loved one is struggling with a mental, behavioral, or addiction illness, Carrier Clinic® provides outpatient and inpatient mental health treatment in NJ for youths, adults, and older adults, that can help. If you notice an ongoing or destructive issue in someone you love, please contact us. Our Access Center is available 24/7.

More Information

Read our white papers on these difficult topics

EARLY CHILDHOOD SEXUAL TRAUMA

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CUTTING AND OTHER TYPES OF NSSI

TREATMENT FOR HEROIN ABUSE AND ADDICTION

View a video

CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE